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Saturday, 28 October 2006
The story is from the Deseret News; the link is here. The gyst is that a dude lost it and didn't realize it. The medical mystery is how he didn't notice it, and how it stayed there for 11 years without causing him to choke, or to otherwise experience discomfort.
Posted by spankavision
at 11:05 AM EDT
Thursday, 26 October 2006
From the Revamped website: "When successful businessman Richard Clarke is bitten by a beautiful Vampire, he is transformed into a creature of the night and plunges into the dark world of the supernatural.Richard very quickly realizes that immortality isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be and must fight for survival when a militaristic Team of Vampire Hunters, The S.T.A.K.E. Team, discover his existence. Richard is separated from Lilith, the beautiful vampire that originally “turned him”. Searching for his eternal Soulmate, Richard winds up in Club Synister where a Goth promises to lead him to her. He takes him downstairs to a private party, which turns out to be the set for a snuff film. When a female Vampire-Dominatrix viciously kills her leading man, it becomes obvious that Richard is about to become the next star of the film. When the Dominatrix realizes that Richard is also a Vampire, she and the crew soon become the unwitting talent for their own production. After viewing the carnage in Club Synisters basement, two L.A. Detectives develop the film and discover Richard’s existence along with his face on celluloid. Through a bizarre course of events, Richard is finally reunited with Lilith, but their bliss is cut short, when they are ambushed by the S.T.A.K.E. Team. Barely surviving, Richard’s presence is brought to the attention of The BLEEDERS, a savage underground gang of Vampires bent on survival at all costs. The BLEEDERS capture Richard and are attacked by the S.T.A.K.E. Team. All Hell breaks loose and it turns into a war for survival and no one is taking any prisoner’s. Let the Bloodbath begin!"
Posted by spankavision
at 6:16 PM EDT
LiveScience: Vampires a Mathematical Impossibility I don't know about you, but when I hear about "pork spending" in Congress, these types of stories are the ones I think about. A physics professor at the University of Central Florida, in a bid (he says) to promote literacy, says that if the first vampires had appeared in 1600, we'd all be starving vampires by now...or dead. More to the point, his theory is that the whole world would have been populated by vampires by 1602. Much as I love the vampire mythos, this sort of shit just pushes my buttons. What a moron! Teach physics, you dumb shit, and leave the vampires to fans...not "believers"...or the "illiterate". On the medical side, Forest Laboratories, Inc. has been working on a stroke medication which uses vampire bat saliva as an active ingredient. Problems concerning safety arose and now the project is being re-analyzed. Click "Forest Laboratories, Inc." for the story.
Posted by spankavision
at 11:58 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 26 October 2006 12:03 PM EDT
Monday, 23 October 2006
A couple of nights later, I remembered it and decided to screen it. Upon viewing, I re-dubbed it "Law & Order: SVU (Special Vampires Unit)." It's not like they didn't invite it. Though the movie was filmed after the original "Law & Order" series began in 1990, and seven before "L&O:SVU" began, the parallels are there. A man is trying to asault a woman in a parking lot. A blonde man with long hair appears to break it up. The assailant tries to run the blonde off, but he ends up dead. Then the blonde goes after the woman. Much like "SVU", the woman is found raped and murdered, with teeth marks in her wrist, and a sex crimes detective named Carrie Blass (Michelle Owens) is sent to investigate. However, much like the earlier episodes of "SVU", the homicide division---all men---are already there and giving her a rough time. One particular homicide detective is giving her the worst time...and it just happens to be her ex-husband Dennis (Michael McMillen). They argue over the body, whilst Dennis' homicide buddies talk about their divorce and how one of them would like to bang Carrie. Another, living, victim is found. Just like the first victim, she's been assaulted, and has the bite on the wrist. The male detectives try the hard-boiled approach, literally yelling at the heretofore mute woman, even making fun of her: "Great; she can't fucking talk." Carrie's been notified of the woman's appearance and comes to try her luck. The men jeer, but after she asks one of them to bring the bottle from his desk drawer. He cuts her a mean look. She responds, "It's not like it's a big secret." When he returns with a tequila bottle, she pours some into a paper cup and gives it to the victim. She drinks it and then responds to Carrie's more subtle approach. The male detectives, her own ex-husband included, seem genuinely shocked that her approach worked. (Yeah, what rape victim wouldn't respond to a angry pack of men??? *sarcasm*) Carrie makes a phone call to her captain, and agrees to meet him for drinks. She looks pissed off, but determined. The scene then changes to a topless bar (because this is SciFi Channel, the whole top of the screen is blurred to cover the naked breasts of the dancers), where Carrie offers to be bait for the rapist in a stake-out. The captain says he'll consider it, if she sleeps with him. Before she can rightfully tell him to go fuck himself, her ex and his partner come into the strip bar and tell him he needs to come with them right away, to speak to the press about the murders. The captain tells them he'll be there in a minute, then turns his attention back to Carrie. She asks, "So, this is how I get the (assignment)? Flat on my back?" He tells her that's it. She then gives him the brush off about sexual harassment and leaves. (I liked that she stood up to him, but back then, screaming sexual harassment was like throwing bricks in the Grand Canyon.) The next morning, Carrie finds a memo on her desk from the captain: he wants to see her ASAP. She goes, only to find out she's back on Homicide, with her ex as her partner. Captain tells them that her ex is going to train her for field work, and that if they don't do it, they're both off the force. Following their "Abbott and Costello" exit (both are trying to push out of the office door at the same time), there's a musical training montage, in which Carrie becomes Buffy, the Police-Trained Vampire Slayer. She gets her chance to act as bait, only to end up with a stake-out that has nothing happen until she's on her way home. She's attacked and bitten (but not raped). She sees it's a vampire, but when she tries to report it, no one believes her (surprise, surprise...). What follows is Carrie becoming very slutty (walking into her precinct in a lace minidress and very 80's assymmetrical "one-side up" hair do...with dark glasses), beating up a perp who had tried to hold an officer at gun point (she beats his brains into the precinct wall), and avoiding sunlight...uh-oh... The rest of the movie is her trying to catch the vampire. A few quibbles:
All in all, this movie is really only for a completist. It's badly written, poorly acted, and the vampire was badly cast. What a stinker!
Posted by spankavision
at 2:27 PM EDT
Saturday, 21 October 2006
I was first introduced to the existence of Michelle Belanger shortly after watching "Mad Mad House," with its resident vampire Don Henrie. Belanger wrote a book called "The Psychic Vampire Codex", and has appeared on "The Secret Life of Vampires" last October, which will reair on Biography Channel (check your local listings). Ms. Belanger recently lectured at the University of Kentucky, for part of the University's "Theoretical Thursdays" lecture series. Links: Vampire to 'theoretically' visit UK (announcement before her appearance Self-proclaimed vampire says she's not the only one (review after her appearance)
Posted by spankavision
at 11:27 AM EDT
Taliesin (Taliesin Meets the Vampires), hipped me to this new thing: a haunted house made completely out of balloons. They've got all sorts of nasties, and there is a website for the Balloon Manor, complete with interactive virtual tour of the Manor (requires latest version of Flash). What won't they think of next??? Below is one of their creatures, a vampire, of course. Profits from this haunted house go to cancer charities. 
Posted by spankavision
at 11:21 AM EDT
Updated: Saturday, 21 October 2006 11:23 AM EDT
Friday, 13 October 2006
Supernatural's "Bloodlust" synopsis is up on the "One offs" page and the addition of an episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" just did make it. Also, on Spankavision2, there is a whole new More Commercials and Ads page for your bemusement. Now, there's M&M's, Jagermeister, UNICEF, and an old Coca Cola ad from 1992. It's like I always say: these pages are NEVER done!
Posted by spankavision
at 2:12 PM EDT
Saturday, 7 October 2006
After much fretting and moving of information from one site to another, as well as researching new topics, I have now published Spankavision2 to the web! It now features not only the topics I moved (web movies, Trivia, WWE's the Brood, and Commercials and Ads), but now includes Anime and Vampire XXX. (Note to parents, kids and perverts: there is no explicit content on the XXX page. There are only very general descriptions, a few catty remarks and box covers, none of which are explicit. If you're only clicking on the page for a cheap thrill or an excuse to protest me, don't go there. You're wasting your time.) As more stuff develops, I'll add more content. Until then, enjoy Spankavision and Spankavision2!
Posted by spankavision
at 12:27 PM EDT
Thursday, 21 September 2006
When Sci-Fi Channel originally aired this show, I loved it. I watched it every Thursday at 9pm, when it aired. I loved it so much, I started to tape it, but I didn't want commercials, and I was seeing someone (not my fiance, Tim) at the time, so I let that idea slip by me. I figured it would re-run into perpetuity, right? Wrong. It aired once more, then a marathon, then to Fox Reality Channel, which my cable provider doesn't offer. Then, it was gone. I was furious with myself. I let several opportunities slip through my fingers to keep a copy of this show, and now it was gone. There would be no DVD set, I would soon discover, unlike ridiculous shows it would commit to DVD, like Frankenfish and that crappy Dune remake. I was stuck. I began to solicit the online tape trading sites in January 2006, hoping SOMEONE would have the heart to help me out. One lady in North Carolina took a check for $20 and five blank VHS tapes. With shipping, it cost me $40 for the whole shooting match. About a dozen emails passed back and forth from January until March, then I realized I'd been had. Another person offered to sell it to me on his personally-burned DVDs...for $50. I couldn't afford that, so I moved on. Eventually, a nice man in Michigan sent me the DVD-Rs and I have enjoyed them ever since. Now: an overall synopses. Ten "guests" (read: "normal" people) are invited to participate in a reality show in which they stay in a mansion with a "family". What they don't know is that the family in question is actually a group of "alts": people living alternative lifestyles. There is a Wiccan named Fiona (pretty blonde; will get to her in a minute), a Voodoo priestess named I'aya Ta'shia, a naturist named Avocado, a "modern primitive" (read: pierced and tattooed guy) named Art, and our resident vampire Don Henrie. The guests are the usual reality show suspects: Nichole- the pretty one- Seems nice, but everyone bags on her for being "fake," a big crime on reality TV Brent- the Christian- He's barely on for two episodes, because every challenge is against his religion Bonnie- the Mom- Nice older lady who dives right into everything Eric- the Villian- Although the point of the show--and what the winner HAS TO ACTUALLY DO--is to open your mind and to embrace the Alts and what they teach you, Eric decides to take down Nichole and "play the game". He lies about everyone that "gets in (his) way", in order to make them look bad. Loana- the good girl gone bad- Claims to be a Christian, but is soon working as a co-conspirator to Eric, and lies about other contestants. Best known for raising the ire of Fiona, the Wiccan, by claiming that Nichole is not really interested in learning about Wicca, then getting her own ass in trouble. Noel- the slacker with a heart of gold- He came in as a punter trying to win the money, but actually seemed to learn from the experience. Too bad Eric and Loana messed him out of the chance. Kelly- the Bitch- Initially starts out as the Virgin, but it isn't like she has a choice---she kind of looks like Monica Lewinsky without the charm or the attractiveness. She announces on her first day in the house that she's a Republican who lives in a convent. Eventually, when she starts having trouble accepting the Alts, she decides to hate everyone and calls people names...safely behind their backs. Hamin- the ladies' man- also a Christian, but is called out by I'aya by not being "black enough". First eliminated. Tim- the redneck- WILL NOT SHUT THE F*CK UP! Tried to call out the beefy Art to fight during a challenge. Made a huge production when asked to maintain a vow of silence, until they told him to forget it. Jamie- the retired stripper- A pretty Southern girl who no one took seriously because she didn't play the game. SHE WON. Now, Jamie winning is an important point. She followed through the challenges, didn't always win, but kept an open mind and LISTENED to what everyone had to say. She never objected to the challenges, which went the gamut from blood-drinking and a hanging to streaking naked on the mansion lawn. She simply participated and didn't judge anyone. This wasn't easy, what with Eric and Loana conspiring to make others fail in the show and the Alts having their own agendas.
Remember I mentioned before that Fiona was a pretty blonde? Though there were attractive girls as guests on the show (notably Nichole and Jamie), Fiona was prettier than any of the girls, and maybe all of them combined. She looked the part of a fantasy witch, something you might have seen on a Coors Light Halloween standee in your local 7-11. According to Wikipedia, she was a former rock musician/actor/model/pin-up in her native Australia whose latest incarnation was as a witch. It caused a concern for those in Wiccan circles who felt she wasn't an accurate representation of a witch. More to the point, she seemed to walk in with an agenda. The male guests seemed to garner her attention readily, while she seemed lukewarm to the female guests. Her first roommate was Hamin, the ladies' man. She was the first Alt to claim that Nichole was used to getting whatever she wanted, and some might say, slanted the other Alts against Nichole. She also listened to Eric, whose lies were not only transparent, but unbelievable. It was only after it was too late that Eric was voted off the show, and by then Fiona had made up her (and possibly, the others') mind. Not that Fiona was the only one. My personal favorite of the Alts, Don Henrie, also gunned for Nichole, although he kept it quiet. However, during deliberations, Don made fun of perky Nichole, agreeing with Eric that nobody could truthfully be that upbeat. (Are pleasant people THAT HARD TO FIND?) Even after Nichole let down her guard in the house, Don seemed to keep the pressure on her in the closed deliberations. However, his agenda was slightly different than Fiona's, or Eric's for that matter. During an elimination ceremony, Don cast his vote for Nichole, telling her he was alerting her to a 'psychic catfight' going on in the house. It was during a dinner later in the house that Don decided to stir a little more shit, and without naming names, told Eric that it seemed he was constantly pointing out Nichole as a fake. It got Nichole to finally take action and stand up for herself. But Fiona seemed to try and rule the roost with the Alts. Whenever any of the men (usually Avocado or Art) tried to stand up for Nichole, Fiona began her campaign with I'aya Ta'Shia, claiming that 'they're only men," implying that they were allowing an attraction to Nichole to influence their way of thinking. This was an interesting assertion, considering what would happen in a episode close to series' end: during a thunderstorm, a security camera shows Fiona and Avocado lounging in bed together...dressed...but still. Though the show was supposed to expose we, the viewers, to ideas of acceptance and openness, the real moral of the show was that no matter what we do to set ourselves apart from others---practice witchcraft, pierce ourselves, drink blood, vote Republican and live in a nunnery--- we are all human, and horribly so. Even the nicest people, with few exceptions, became raging assholes in the face of a $100,000 payday. Even those who weren't eligible for the money were using the power of giving that money to make their own agendas. It caused rifts and embarrassments on national television. It made me aware that as good as we try to be, sometimes we can't help but to be monsters. Even bigger monsters than those the guests might have perceieved the Alts to be.
Posted by spankavision
at 8:23 PM EDT
Updated: Sunday, 3 June 2007 10:56 PM EDT
I have only recently picked up "Club Dead" by Charlaine Harris, though I have seen her books around in stores for a while. The odd thing was, once I actually picked it up, I found I could relate to Sookie, the heroine of the book. See, I have read all of the Anita Blake books by Laurell K. Hamilton, and though I understood that Anita, the tough necromancer/Federal Marshal/hybrid of different supernatural elements forced on her by her boyfriends, had issues, I couldn't relate. Hamilton kept piling things onto her, until she wasn't relatable anymore. I couldn't feel for her. Harris' heroine, Sookie Stackhouse of Bon Temps, Louisiana, on the other hand, is downright close to my heart. Here she is, dating a vampire (Bill) who had fought in the Civil War, and she suspects he's up to something. He's suddenly distant, and she doesn't know why, but she has her suspicions. He tells her he needs to take a trip, but that he needs her to hide his computer and if anyone comes asking to protect it. It sounds serious, but as soon as he's gone, her boyfriend's romantic rival, Eric (another vampire) comes calling and can't wait to spill the beans: Bill is seeing someone else. The antagonism here is pretty straight-forward: there's another woman, and that other woman may be setting her now-ex-boyfriend up to be killed. Sookie would rather just be left by her man, to stay a cocktail waitress, and to leave all this underworld stuff behind. However, she feels a moral obligation (he IS in danger...) to her man and goes off on a mission to find him. She's given a bodyguard, a werewolf named Alcide, who's big and handsome and smells good. (Harris helpfully supplies the description of Alcide smelling like Tide detergent and Irish Spring soap.) They hit it off, but they can't be involved: they're on a mission to save Bill. However, it doesn't stop Harris from giving them a couple of romantic interludes to complicate matters. Just like real life, no? They head into Mississippi, where they settle into an apartment and go to Josephine's, aka, Club Dead, to try and get information to help find Bill. They end up getting tangled with mercenaries and Alcide's ex-girlfriend, Debbie. I won't tell you more, only to say that instead of grand magical and supernatural powers described in Hamilton's books, Charlaine Harris's characters are pretty normal, given their circumstances. They are very strong, but no one can simply acquire supernatural powers from sexual encounters or from bites. The action is very realistic, with people being shot and stabbed, rather than killed with off-the-wall deaths. But, like Hamilton's Anita Blake, Harris' Sookie Stackhouse is confused about her place in with these vampires and wolves around her, and doubly confused about her attraction to them. They both wish they could be with someone normal, knowing it's not in the cards. I recommend this book, as well as Hamilton's books and Harris' other books, anyone who has dreamed of men fighting to the death--or un-death--for her.
Posted by spankavision
at 6:35 PM EDT
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happy
caffeinated
A few nights ago, I remembered that I had seen a listing for a film called "Midnight Kiss" on the SciFi Channel, due to air around 2am. I set my VCR (yes, I still tape...) and hit the sack.
lazy
not sure
a-ok
