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Sunday, 18 March 2007
I'm always interested whenever new shows pop up with a vampire theme, and the whenever two come on, nearly at the same time, it's always cause for comment. I present, "The Dresden Files" and "Blood Ties." "The Dresden Files" is a Sci Fi original series about a wizard who solves crimes. Vampires, as it turns out, are merely incidental characters, aimed at being used as plot devices. But "Blood Ties," from the Lifetime Network... female cop teams with vampire to solve crime... and they're already making goo-goo eyes at one another... and there's another man waiting in the wings... yep, the sex is coming. Let you know what happens...
Posted by spankavision
at 12:49 AM EDT
Tuesday, 6 February 2007
I just added this to my "More One-Offs" page. I didn't think they'd ever done anything vampire-related, but I guess it fit into the Halloween theme. It's on Disc Two of the Season One set, if you're interested!
Posted by spankavision
at 4:11 PM EST
Posted by spankavision
at 4:09 PM EST
Sunday, 14 January 2007
Posted by spankavision
at 10:53 AM EST
I was flipping through the December 2006 issue of Rue Morgue when I noticed the Needful Things section. Normally, this page is full of things from the Resident Evil chainsaw attachment for your PS2 to a set of bedding featuring Frankenstein's monster. This issue's listing held a unique offering: Vampire Condoms. Observe:  What makes this even more unusual is that there is an entire website devoted to the sale of the Vampire Condom! So, if you're a big fan of the vampire myth AND into safer sex, this is definitely for you!
Posted by spankavision
at 10:47 AM EST
Saturday, 4 November 2006
Just put the word "Vampire" into Yahoo! and clicked on "News". This was one of the first listings. If you're an anime fan, you might want to check this out.
Posted by spankavision
at 1:34 PM EST
Saturday, 28 October 2006
The story is from the Deseret News; the link is here. The gyst is that a dude lost it and didn't realize it. The medical mystery is how he didn't notice it, and how it stayed there for 11 years without causing him to choke, or to otherwise experience discomfort.
Posted by spankavision
at 11:05 AM EDT
Thursday, 26 October 2006
From the Revamped website: "When successful businessman Richard Clarke is bitten by a beautiful Vampire, he is transformed into a creature of the night and plunges into the dark world of the supernatural.Richard very quickly realizes that immortality isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be and must fight for survival when a militaristic Team of Vampire Hunters, The S.T.A.K.E. Team, discover his existence. Richard is separated from Lilith, the beautiful vampire that originally “turned him”. Searching for his eternal Soulmate, Richard winds up in Club Synister where a Goth promises to lead him to her. He takes him downstairs to a private party, which turns out to be the set for a snuff film. When a female Vampire-Dominatrix viciously kills her leading man, it becomes obvious that Richard is about to become the next star of the film. When the Dominatrix realizes that Richard is also a Vampire, she and the crew soon become the unwitting talent for their own production. After viewing the carnage in Club Synisters basement, two L.A. Detectives develop the film and discover Richard’s existence along with his face on celluloid. Through a bizarre course of events, Richard is finally reunited with Lilith, but their bliss is cut short, when they are ambushed by the S.T.A.K.E. Team. Barely surviving, Richard’s presence is brought to the attention of The BLEEDERS, a savage underground gang of Vampires bent on survival at all costs. The BLEEDERS capture Richard and are attacked by the S.T.A.K.E. Team. All Hell breaks loose and it turns into a war for survival and no one is taking any prisoner’s. Let the Bloodbath begin!"
Posted by spankavision
at 6:16 PM EDT
LiveScience: Vampires a Mathematical Impossibility I don't know about you, but when I hear about "pork spending" in Congress, these types of stories are the ones I think about. A physics professor at the University of Central Florida, in a bid (he says) to promote literacy, says that if the first vampires had appeared in 1600, we'd all be starving vampires by now...or dead. More to the point, his theory is that the whole world would have been populated by vampires by 1602. Much as I love the vampire mythos, this sort of shit just pushes my buttons. What a moron! Teach physics, you dumb shit, and leave the vampires to fans...not "believers"...or the "illiterate". On the medical side, Forest Laboratories, Inc. has been working on a stroke medication which uses vampire bat saliva as an active ingredient. Problems concerning safety arose and now the project is being re-analyzed. Click "Forest Laboratories, Inc." for the story.
Posted by spankavision
at 11:58 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 26 October 2006 12:03 PM EDT
Monday, 23 October 2006
A couple of nights later, I remembered it and decided to screen it. Upon viewing, I re-dubbed it "Law & Order: SVU (Special Vampires Unit)." It's not like they didn't invite it. Though the movie was filmed after the original "Law & Order" series began in 1990, and seven before "L&O:SVU" began, the parallels are there. A man is trying to asault a woman in a parking lot. A blonde man with long hair appears to break it up. The assailant tries to run the blonde off, but he ends up dead. Then the blonde goes after the woman. Much like "SVU", the woman is found raped and murdered, with teeth marks in her wrist, and a sex crimes detective named Carrie Blass (Michelle Owens) is sent to investigate. However, much like the earlier episodes of "SVU", the homicide division---all men---are already there and giving her a rough time. One particular homicide detective is giving her the worst time...and it just happens to be her ex-husband Dennis (Michael McMillen). They argue over the body, whilst Dennis' homicide buddies talk about their divorce and how one of them would like to bang Carrie. Another, living, victim is found. Just like the first victim, she's been assaulted, and has the bite on the wrist. The male detectives try the hard-boiled approach, literally yelling at the heretofore mute woman, even making fun of her: "Great; she can't fucking talk." Carrie's been notified of the woman's appearance and comes to try her luck. The men jeer, but after she asks one of them to bring the bottle from his desk drawer. He cuts her a mean look. She responds, "It's not like it's a big secret." When he returns with a tequila bottle, she pours some into a paper cup and gives it to the victim. She drinks it and then responds to Carrie's more subtle approach. The male detectives, her own ex-husband included, seem genuinely shocked that her approach worked. (Yeah, what rape victim wouldn't respond to a angry pack of men??? *sarcasm*) Carrie makes a phone call to her captain, and agrees to meet him for drinks. She looks pissed off, but determined. The scene then changes to a topless bar (because this is SciFi Channel, the whole top of the screen is blurred to cover the naked breasts of the dancers), where Carrie offers to be bait for the rapist in a stake-out. The captain says he'll consider it, if she sleeps with him. Before she can rightfully tell him to go fuck himself, her ex and his partner come into the strip bar and tell him he needs to come with them right away, to speak to the press about the murders. The captain tells them he'll be there in a minute, then turns his attention back to Carrie. She asks, "So, this is how I get the (assignment)? Flat on my back?" He tells her that's it. She then gives him the brush off about sexual harassment and leaves. (I liked that she stood up to him, but back then, screaming sexual harassment was like throwing bricks in the Grand Canyon.) The next morning, Carrie finds a memo on her desk from the captain: he wants to see her ASAP. She goes, only to find out she's back on Homicide, with her ex as her partner. Captain tells them that her ex is going to train her for field work, and that if they don't do it, they're both off the force. Following their "Abbott and Costello" exit (both are trying to push out of the office door at the same time), there's a musical training montage, in which Carrie becomes Buffy, the Police-Trained Vampire Slayer. She gets her chance to act as bait, only to end up with a stake-out that has nothing happen until she's on her way home. She's attacked and bitten (but not raped). She sees it's a vampire, but when she tries to report it, no one believes her (surprise, surprise...). What follows is Carrie becoming very slutty (walking into her precinct in a lace minidress and very 80's assymmetrical "one-side up" hair do...with dark glasses), beating up a perp who had tried to hold an officer at gun point (she beats his brains into the precinct wall), and avoiding sunlight...uh-oh... The rest of the movie is her trying to catch the vampire. A few quibbles:
All in all, this movie is really only for a completist. It's badly written, poorly acted, and the vampire was badly cast. What a stinker!
Posted by spankavision
at 2:27 PM EDT
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spacey
bright
accident prone
a-ok
happy
caffeinated
A few nights ago, I remembered that I had seen a listing for a film called "Midnight Kiss" on the SciFi Channel, due to air around 2am. I set my VCR (yes, I still tape...) and hit the sack.